I refuse to walk into the next year with a heavy heart, so I feel the need to purge the last remaining negative feelings that are weighing me down. Because I‘ll admit, I’m holding on to quite a bit of resentment. 2017, while you had your share of extremely wonderful moments, I can’t help but feel extremely humbled by the multitude of ways you kicked my ass. I spent most of the year feeling completely overworked, overlooked and under-appreciated both professionally and personally. I’ve kept my head down, nose to the grind and gone above and beyond what was expected, but it always feel like it was never enough. Truthfully, I felt like a failure every single day.
But sometimes you learn that the disappointments in life are truly blessings in disguise. Having nothing will allow you to appreciate everything. It’s failing miserably over and over again that will allow you to succeed. Failing is one of the greatest things in the world, as it reminds us how imperfect we are. It reminds us how much we need to learn in order to become the people we truly wish to be. Because sometimes the life you’re leading is so far from the life you are meant to be living that losing everything is the only way you can make it out on top. The moment you realize that not even loss itself can stop you, that sadness, despair, anger and fear cannot hold you back, is the moment you become perfect. Perfectly flawed, but perfect nonetheless.
Today, I acknowledge that the biggest failures in my life have become some of my greatest assets. After experiencing a number of major disappointments this week, I immediately turned my heart towards gratitude and found the strength to stand in my power to advocate for my needs and set important boundaries.
Whenever we’re getting our ass handed to us, we always like to say “karma is a bitch,” to make the sting feel less harsh. But karma is really a mirror of both positive and negative energies. I truly believe that whatever we put out into the world is exactly what we get back. And there’s no timeline for the return. Keeping this in mind, I know my time will come and the hard work will eventually pay off. But in the interim, I need to keep my heart open, free from resentment and honor the legitimacy of all of these feelings, even the negative ones.