When the relationships we’ve worked hard to build for many years aren’t giving us the joy they once did or a sense of community and energy anymore, what do we do? What if it feels downright toxic and negative to be around them? Look at the relationships in your life and be honest about those that are purely negative. Can you let go of them entirely? Can you minimize your involvement?
Last week, I cleaned, organized and completely rearranged my physical environment. Now it’s time for the emotional purging; letting go of the things that will not serve my highest good in the upcoming year.
I’ve spent over a decade helping improve the lives of others through informed and inspired coaching, but I have no idea how to “raise the bar” for myself — at least, not in this moment. Truthfully, I’m afraid of standing in my own power because this means standing by myself. And what I don’t want you to know about me is that I’m terrified of being alone, I afraid to speak up and not be heard; the mask that I wear is orphan, the mask I wear is insignificant. But despite this, I’ve grown far too comfortable with being by myself; reaching out for help is often painstakingly difficult. It’s hard to be the person that everyone looks up to, because in the on-going attempt to “look good,” I always end up self-sabotaging.
My work has always provided a deep sense of security that I lack in other areas of my life, but it has always been just enough — never more, stagnant. This month has brought some unexpected disappointments and my first instinct was to try and control what was happening, to attempt to rearrange the world to feel better. But then I remembered, sometimes gifts and miracles are buried within things we don’t understand.
And this morning, just one simple statement shifted my entire perspective, “You’re in transition.” Today, I honor the space between and feel incredibly grateful for this opportunity to gauge my own bar from a brand new perspective. Raising the bar for myself in this transitionary period may not be the huge leaps and bounds that I’m used to, but that doesn’t mean the steps are any less meaningful or significant. Instead of fighting the discomfort, I need to let life unfold — as painful as that sometimes can be. Transition is awkward, but what is mine will come to me. How it will come is none of my business. My business is simple, show up and learn to let go of any outcome or expectation and be gentle and forgiving during the process.
Never be willing to compromise your peace of mind. If it costs you your peace, it’s too expensive! And as you release yourself from the weight of negative relationships or toxic environments, you can be free to grow in other directions and with other people who will nurture your spirit. You will breathe easier, feel stronger and lighter. All you need to do is have the courage let go and make space for what you wholeheartedly want.